Open Letter to My Son re: XKCD Virus

Spoiler Alert: 

This post contains contagion that is best avoided.
Do not read further.
Also, do not repost.

To: My son; +AllMyFriends

Dear son,

You have XKC’d me for fair!  Can’t do my desk work, my woodwork, plan for my sailing cruise next summer… nothing!

Not only have I now read Randall Monroe’s What If  book cover to cover, I have reviewed online 

and in depth xkcd #1466 thru #1269 and thereby wasted whole three days, and I still have 

(1466-1269)*100/1466 percent to go!

True, I have learned^{[Citation needed]} diverse things like a) there is something called a pi manifesto; b) git is version control software by Torvalds; c) the Oort cloud (maybe) defines the boundaries of our planetary system; d) Apollo 12 likely did not, in fact, have a rum incident.

These do not, however, constitute a significant fraction of the items on my 

‘Gots-to-know’ bucket list.

I can’t imagine how little you think of me to have introduced me to such a time waster.  

Anyone who deliberately infects another human being with a deadly virus deserves to be shot.

As you can see, I have alerted all my friends—you won’t catch *them* unawares!

Regards,

Dad